Freelance Writer, Reporter, and Author

I really have nothing car related to write about. Tax day has come and gone, I’ve been writing my wee fingers off, and my cars continue to be ignored. Lovely.

But I have spent a good amount of time pondering my Zombie Evacuation Plan.

I’m a firm believer in the Zombie Apocalypse. Oh, it will happen, and when it does, I will be prepared. Far too many people think they will be prepared…but they won’t be. Me? I’m all set.

The most important part of a zombie plan is to know where you are going. You want to go where everyone else isn’t going. That means I have to avoid major population centers, malls, highways, police stations, etc. etc. Living in the Northeast, the Middle of Nowhere is just a few hours drive north in Maine. I have well-armed family in Maine, and I will likely ride out the first major wave of zombie panic with them.

But getting to Maine won’t be easy on my own, especially since I will be driving all back roads to get there (remember, stay off the highways!) I will need to rendezvous with several friends (also well-armed) as well as make some quick supply raids. Again, avoiding major population centers like Wal-Mart, we would need to snag as much in the way of supplies as possible. Gas stations/local food stores are the best bet, as they are small but usually well stocked with the basics.

The reality is, we could only hole up in Maine for so long. After the initial panic (and slaughter) we would need to find a way to survive without the traditional support system America has come to rely on. This is when we head back to Wal-Mart, and turn it into a fortress.

Any Wal-Mart will do, and the likelihood is that all the food and guns are likely to be gone. But if we could find a Wal-Mart with a garden center, we could grow our own food, either indoors or on the roof. It is also a huge building, easy to barricade (I have several lines of defense planned that make use of the shelving) and with a little ingenuity we could likely restore some semblance of civilization and ride out the zombie apocalypse in style. With its high view we could also control a large swath of land around the store and eventually venture out and reclaim what we needed from the world (fuel, more food, seeds, fertilizer, guns, etc)

Of course, this is just zombie plan #1. Zombie plans 2-12 are for another day.